Heya all - first post of 2026, what do ya know. It’s been a bit over two weeks since the new year. I’m not dead, not quite yet. Life’s been good, generally.

But today I’ve been having a down day and I just need to get it out of my system. You don’t gotta read this, and I’m not saying this in a reverse-psychology “read it out of pity” kinda way, I mean really it’s just something I needed to write somewhere that I wouldn’t instantly delete or bin. Today’s been a day, not a particularly bad one, but not a particularly good one, and I just wanna get my emotions in order.

So, it’s the end of the semester. There’s about a week and a half until the classes end, and all the things I needed to do “later” are crashing down on me.

I’ve signed up for 3D modeling. Figured it would be a class about the general notions of how computer modeling works, but it turned out to just be another workshop class. figures. we just listen and copy what the teacher does. fairly mindless work, so I told myself I’d just go home and do the HW in my own time, watching the class recording. I haven’t. I’ve done like one class of homework the entire semester, and I’m fairly certain I need to submit all the assignments by the time he sits down to grade. luckily, his class is the last assignment.

I need to write a wikipedia page for one class, and that’s due this week. It’s been going well so far, but I told myself I’d finish it last weekend, and it’s almost the start of a new week and I’m still only halfway to the word count. i’ll finish it in time but generally dissapointed in myself.

another one of my classes is about audio. i realized I’m not very good at writing original compositions, something I’ve known about me for a while but figured may have improved, so I’m just doing new SFX over a match of jojo’s heritage for the future. that, also, i figured i’d have done this week. didn’t. i’ll do it in time but still.

it’s now the 5th month that I have my website rewrite going, and I still don’t have all the basic features done. it’s become especially time-pertinent as my static site straight up cannot compile on github actions anymore because it’s 6+ GB big. fat hunk o’ files. the website updating call stopped working a little before the new year’s, and there’s been more new stuff to update ever since. I told everyone I’d have a test version by the end of the week up. might be able to play it off if I put it up by the end of the american weekend, so like tomorrow. shouldn’t delude myself.

I broke up with my boyfriend before the new year’s, aswell. they might be reading this so I’m unsure whether or not I should be writing this here at all, so if they are - hey man, you don’t gotta worry about me here. anywho, I feel bad for having broken their heart, but on the other hand I’m still a little relieved, so I do think it was the right choice. still sucks to see them go through it. it’s part of life I suppose.

my mint plant died. it’s been raining the past few days so I figured it was hitting the plants on my porch. turns out my porch remained completely dry and the mind shriveled up. i’ve been watering it for the past week hoping it revives some seedling in there, but it’s not looking like much.

my laundry’s been sitting on the rack for the past three days now. it’s standing in the middle of the living room. took a few socks and underwear off of it earlier today, which is nice.

started playing “arctic eggs” today. only played about 30 minutes. friend told me i’d like it, and it did seem up my alley. kept fucking up the egg orders. i felt something twitch in a tear duct, but my eyes are still dry. well, not dry, but you get what i mean.

haven’t gone to the gym as much as I wanted to this week, same with last week. i’ve lost some weight which is nice. both of those things can’t be helping my mood.

my sister got me a new lamp on christmas, to change the gaudy one the old lady who used to live here had hung up. I put it next to the other decoration she gave me last christmas that I never put up. it’s been sitting there since.

i’ve gone through about 4 pairs of socks this week. I really have no idea why, I don’t think it’s a moth but it might be. i’ll get some anti-clothing-moth thingies next time I pass by the pharmacy.

does this count as a diary? i might need to get an actual diary. I woudln’t use it all that much though, and I type better than I write. it’s weirdly vulnerable to have this in a public place, though, right next to stuff I actually want to send to people.

I wanted to do homework htis morning, then my mom called me to go help with my nephews. i got bakc home and decided i wanted to relax a bit, so i messaged a friend to see if he wanted to play. we ended up working on a project. the universe has some funny bits.

watched the third episode of the amazing digital circus, which was nice. late to the party but still.

i should clean my pc so i can buy an ssd so i cna move to linux.

i’m tired. not mentally, primarily physically. well, mentally too, but mainly because of today. mostly. haven’t been feeling like this the rest of the week. well, my laundry’s been up for 3 days, that can’t be a sign of a sturdy mental health.

this thursday i’m showing off my board game to people which i’m sincerely excited for. a little scared too. it’s been eating up more time than all of my school projects combined, but this is the one thing i actually give a shit about. who’d think, the most game-making i’d make in my degree is thanks to a course of a different uni i’m not even signed up for.

my pihole isn’t working on ipv6. it occassionally just stops working on ipv4 and then I have to use 5G. might just give up on using it. leaning towards it.

it’s late, I should head to bed. cya.

wait shit i forgot my dishes in the sink. i’ll do that and then. leaving dishes for tomorrow is a hell I do not want to deal with, even like this.