About 3 months ago, I realized I needed to decorate my living space as soon as humanly possible. My room was (and frankly still is) white, barren, and cold. It is clearly lived in, less because of the disorganized pile of clothes next to the window but more because of all the doohickeys I purchase and leave around the house. To help with that, I bought a picture of Denji and Pochita from Chainsaw Man that now hangs proudly behind my computer screens.

After that, I looked at my laptop. I knew that a lot of other programmers and general-laptop-users tend to decorate the backs of their laptops with an absolutely obscene amount of stickers. I was scrolling down my tumblr feed, and thought to myself “hm, maybe I should get that too.” Before I could finish my fucking thought a post graced my dash: tumblr user solradguy announced he was selling vinyl stickers of Guilty Gear characters. More specifically, he was selling a vinyl sticker of one guilty gear character: Goldlewis Dickinson. With his ass out.

I never clicked “purchase” on something faster.

A waterproof, vinyl, microwave-safe¹, sparkly view of The US Minister of Absolute Defense’s Absolute Cheeks. Is it stupid? Yes, but goddamnit for 5$ I had to.

My concerns came a few weeks after, honestly. Sol sent the packets and said “oh btw because tracking costs more than the actual stickers I’m just sending them in lil’ envelopes.” That’s entirely understandable, but I was a lil’ concerned because shipping to Israel usually takes way longer than it should, but hey, it’s a small sticker, how wrong could it go?

Two months later I was sure my package got lost somewhere and was never going to arrive.

About 30 minutes ago I was sitting on my ass, scrolling the web, not doing the projects I probably should be doing, when my email client shot up from the corner of the screen:

CRM:312546212 Notification regarding a received package.

“Package? But I haven’t ordered anywait no fucking way”

I dashed downstairs, burst into the administration room, kind of scared the clerk who was still sending out emails regarding arrived packages to the rest of the dormitory, and now, one of my guilty gear mains’ shiny buttocks coat the back of my laptop:

God everyone is going to know now that I’m a fucking dweeb.